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I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped.But something in me just knew he didn't marry a sister. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress. Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul's credibility? One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that's not how I was brought up. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me.By her own reckoning Jill Scott's friend is "new." All she knows about him is that he's nice-looking, well compensated and loves his mother.He could have a trail of baby momma's from Oakland to Kansas City.When we bemoan Reggie Bush's relationship, we overstate our knowledge, understate our ignorance, highlight our lack of a serious life, and low-ball our own worth.It's petty gossip masquerading as social commentary, and unbecoming of a "welcoming and open-minded" people.My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.Scott goes on to detail the history of black women, racist degradation, and beauty standards. But I think the key problem here is a common one--a kind of collectivist approach toward something as individual and private as marriage.
They too are far from perfect and being with a white person has not changed how I’m seen.My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy.He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman.The point about "African people worldwide" is a tip off.Now I ride for my folks, but we certainly are no more "welcoming and open-minded" than any other group of people.
It does not elevate status unless he is rich and has a status of his own, otherwise, all it does is just gets you noticed in public.