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If someone messages me, “Hi, I think Asians girls are hot,” I almost immediately block them. While not all white guys I’ve dated — and I’ve only entered serious relationships with white guys — are like that, I’ve fallen prey to a few short-term relationships with these types.They all managed to white-splain Chinese or Asian culture, whether in the form of travel stories, pop culture, anime, or tales of the Asian communities they immerse themselves in while simultaneously putting me on a pedestal for, well, just being Asian. I only got into them because I was not fully aware, at first, that I was being fetishized." style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;object-fit:cover;object-position:center;opacity:1;transition-delay:500ms"/He tells me no, he doesn’t, but he chooses to not go out with blonde women because they remind him too much of his mother and sister. I tell him I’m my own person and it’s none of his damn business what my parents think. But while white men likely do not get messages like, “I want to try my first whitey” or “I want your sexy Caucasian body on me,” Asian women do. However, there are those sly fetishists who can appear innocuous on the outside but have yellow fever vibes brewing beneath the surface. Flash forward a few months and I’m on another first date with another white guy. He tells me he likes my tattoos and asks how my parents feel about them.I talk about how these experiences have shaped me into who I am today and how I always want to be more connected to my roots.Once I trust someone, I open up about my background and life as a Chinese-American woman.
I’m open to dating anyone, so long as I’m attracted to them and they don’t fetishize me.
They didn’t expect me to behave a certain way or be submissive because that’s how they perceive Chinese women.
With the proliferation of online dating apps and websites, it can be even more daunting.
Now, it’s an integral part of my identity that I wear on my sleeve.
I talk about my parents’ pasts in communist China, how my dad was granted asylum in the U. during the Tiananmen Square protests, and their struggles as immigrants in this country.
Just ask yourself, when was the last time you saw an Asian-American male anchor with a white female co-anchor?